


just wanna be loved

by angstoverload



Category: NCT (Band), NCT 127 - Fandom
Genre: Cameo Xu Minghao | The8, Caretaking, Confusion, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Baggage, Fever, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, I Don't Even Know, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Seokmin | DK, Romance, Squint and It's Gone, Very Implied, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, What Have I Done, feelings are complicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 10:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21135485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstoverload/pseuds/angstoverload
Summary: feelings are complicated, and jung jaehyun finds himself in a pit full of them.alternatively, #S065 (Jaehyun/Taeyong): Jaehyun and Taeyong are college fuck buddies, it was not really a big deal until Jaehyun gets sick and Taeyong suddenly stays to take care of him





	just wanna be loved

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for the prompt!! i hope i did it some justice ;-; and this is my first time writing jaeyong, so i hope you understand! ^-^

jaehyun, to put it in simple words, is afraid.

looking at taeyong lying beside him, sleeping peacefully, both sharing warmth from their bare bodies— it gives him pleasure, but throws him off a cliff too. it's happiness and fear, joy and doubt. a weird juxtaposition, if we are to use fancy words now.

it all started some two months ago, when jaehyun had decided on getting wasted as a self-reward for finishing with exams. 

(it's stupid, doyoung would say, stupidly stupid to decide to get drunk till throat as a stress-reliever. but jaehyun believes alcohol is the only way to 'eradicate' stress from his entire body, as if it is a cruel disease. who knows, maybe it is.

the night passes, he gets wasted as planned, and so are his friends. he loses them to the crowd at some point, jostling between the sweat and heat in the floor. he does not really care, though; he is content with his alcohol supply and a corner seat on the bar counter.

he remembers excusing himself to the restroom, and the next thing he knows, he finds himself pinned to a wall, lips crashing against a _ very _ beautiful stranger at 2 in the night as hands slip under his shirt, a fiery touch spreading across his skin.

taeyong, his name goes. jaehyun could have heard about him in passing somewhere, nothing too important to remember. then again, it doesn't matter, not when taeyong leaves trails of kisses down his neck and shoulders, one hand fisted in his hair and another around his neck, the breathlessness evident but never stopping. it had been, in jaehyun's life, the _ best _ time ever, in the best way possible.)

it takes two months. or _ right now _, for him to realize he's— metaphorically, but also quite literally— fucked.

every night he had spent with taeyong, every moment of pleasure was etched in jaehyun's mind with such clarity, a tattoo quite unerasable. however, it is when taeyong smiles after every kiss, with pure contentment, that he feels a kind of happiness nothing else can give. when taeyong moans, the sound rings in jaehyun's ears all night. when they melt into each other's tight embrace, jaehyun feels himself fall deeper, deeper and deeper. he liked it all, but more than anything he liked it when taeyong is there: around him, beside him, physically so close to him that he does not even have to turn to call for him. that is what he likes the best.

like now, when jaehyun can just look at him when he wants to. he presses a soft kiss on taeyong's forehead, feelings taking over his entire mind and heart overwhelmingly.

_ so why is he afraid _ , you might ask. you see, that is where the entire problem begins: he is afraid of all of that. feelings. he is afraid of what he likes, _ who _ he likes, and himself for feeling it with such intensity.

it isn't that jaehyun's past relationships were bad. he had a girlfriend back in middle school to join the bandwagon of '_ hey i'm dating too _'. the first break up was so, so natural that jaehyun did not realize it until everyone else (read: his two best friends) had told him the girl was dating someone else.

his second relationship— the first real one— was with his best friend seokmin, to absolutely no one's surprise. it lasted for the entirety of high school, three years of child-like happiness that jaehyun can feel even now (and still misses). they broke up around the time jaehyun got into university and seokmin went abroad. it wasn't heartbreakingly sad in any way, but jaehyun did hover around, clueless about the emptiness he felt once seokmin was no more beside him, instead miles away with the same bright smile, like it never bothered him.

maybe that is where his fear began. an irrational, unreasonable fear. feelings were too much, too overrated. it took people away, never gave them back again. he doesn't know. he is still not sure why he is afraid, but he knows he is. maybe it is because he could not relate to the concept of liking a stranger, unconditionally at that. and the worst part is, it could all disappear any day. maybe they would wake up one day, realize enough is enough and simply move away from each other. maybe taeyong would realize one fine day that jaehyun wasn't that important in his life anymore, and would leave him.

that fear settles at the deepest corner of his heart, but grows in size with each day of contemplation.

maybe that is why he's afraid. he isn't sure of his own feelings, of what could be the _ after _ of it all. he does not know if he is sure to commit himself right now.

he also realizes, in a tangent, that he barely knows anything about taeyong. he knows taeyong studies in the same college, and that he has a friend named johnny (courtesy of waking up to ten calls from him after a particular night); all information that he got from the nights he spent with taeyong. it was an unwritten rule that neither of them shared anything. hell, he had gotten taeyong's mobile number just two weeks ago; he hadn't even asked for it, it was just there one morning.

looking at taeyong, looking at him peacefully sleeping in his arms, jaehyun is afraid.

afraid he'll end up breaking his own heart over what was supposed to be nothing.

# **#** #

"jaehyun?"

the said person barely hears it as he stumbles inside the dorm, going right to the couch. his chest feels like it's constricting, every breath seems like a chore. it doesn't help that he ran all the way from taeyong's dorm to his, in the biting midnight cold.

"h-hyung—" he collapses just as doyoung catches him, and holds onto him tightly. his breaths are still shallow, still shaky and filled with every ounce of doubt that plagues his mind every moment.

he's scared. he's scared of everything; of _ love _.

seokmin's unapologetic yet sad smile flashes across jaehyun's mind, enough to make tears spring from his eyes involuntarily.

he hiccups as he holds onto doyoung, the only person he _ can _ hold right now, and buries his face in the other's shoulder. the repeated questions of what happened evade his mind completely, at least until tears are the ones that occupies his mind.

he hasn't had it this bad in so long; the last time was back in highschool, where the endless studying had scared him enough to send him into a full panic attack, resulting in him ending up in the hospital because no one around him knew what to do. seokmin was not there, and therefore never heard about it. it was only jaehyun's secret, jaehyun's weakness that he dare did not show to anyone else. but today, today it crumbles down as doyoung embraces all of his shattered parts, piecing it back together with his soft, comforting words.

as doyoung holds him tight, rubbing gentle circles on his back and breathing with him, jaehyun wonders what it is exactly that he was— is so afraid of. 

"you just… ran away."

jaehyun suppress a groan that comes from deep down his throat, still heavy from all the crying. "i know, i'm stupid." jaehyun answers, bringing his knees up closer.

he had come home that night, frenzied and close to panicking, to a surprisingly awake doyoung. how he managed to sneak out without waking taeyong up, he doesn't know. why he ran out of there, he doesn't know either. all he knows is that he took one look at taeyong and an unexplainable and uncomfortable panic settled in his heart.

doyoung is the only one who knows about jaehyun and taeyong's... unexplainable relationship (because he had the misfortune of catching them together, _ naked _), and so the only one jaehyun can talk about it with.

jaehyun does a lot of stupid things, he knows it himself. "yeah, no shit," is what doyoung comments helpfully. "do you think before you do anything?"

jaehyun does not answer. doyoung's hand is on his back, resting after what felt like a long time of patting softly, reassuring that whatever it was, it was fine. he clearly knows it's not fine; it'll never be.

"i was _ scared _." he confesses, resting his forehead on his knees.

"of what?"

"of… committing." he whispers in a low voice.

"what?" doyoung leans forward, eyes squinting judgmentally. he clearly heard what jaehyun had told.

"i'm afraid to commit, okay." jaehyun gives in after a long fight against the Look. he can never win doyoung against that.

jaehyun expects a snide comment on how really stupid he is being right now, but doyoung stays silent. the silence is suffocating, almost unbearable, and jaehyun wants to run away again. he doesn't know where, he just wants to go.

doyoung stands up, takes a long look at jaehyun, and only shakes his head as he returns to his room. jaehyun feels embarrassed and hopeless, like there is really no one to smack some sense into him. no on to believe he has any scope of change.

and maybe it is the case. maybe he is a lost cause who will always be incapable of commitment, because of a reason even he does not know.

# **# **#

it has been a week. a long week of jaehyun trying every method in the book to avoid taeyong at all costs. he refuses to admit that he got drenched in the rain because he took the longer route to the dormitory, because he lingered away from taeyong's sight till the latter went away. he refuses to admit that he has missed three classes because he saw taeyong and turned away.

the calls and voice messages in jaehyun's phone are close to reaching fifty, and the messages are equally much. everything just asks one question— _ when will you come back? did i do anything? _ (and a wordless _ i miss you _, but jaehyun think it's easier to pretend it isn't there.)

one night, he does answer the call. it's absent-minded, really, a habitual move.

"_ hello? jae? jaehyun? _"

he takes a surprised breath in, and forgets to let it out.

"_ jaehyun… please, are you there? why aren't you answering my calls? _"

_ i can't _.

"_ did i do something? anything? you could just tell me, you know _…"

"don't make this hard for me," he whispers, not realizing that taeyong was still on the line.

"_ jae? i couldn't hear you. what was it? _"

"i-i-i'm busy n-now." he stutters.

there's a beat of silence on the other side. jaehyun feels his heart pounding against his chest, waiting to get out. jaehyun will not let it ruin his life with its endless doubt.

"_ oh, _ " taeyong hums, voice resigned and tired. jaehyun wants to tell that nothing is his fault, that it was all himself, that taeyong could never do anything wrong. " _ okay. bye _."

the chillness of the air that blows from the window is nothing compared to the one he feels inside him.

he feels doyoung's lingering look of pity on him. he buries himself into the books in front of him than trying to do something about the deep pit he feels inside his heart.

# **#** #

"are you sure you'll be fine? you seem to be coming down with a fever," doyoung asks as he packs away his clothes messily into a suitcase. "and you're stupid, as everyone knows."

doyoung is packing to spend his weekend (and possibly the whole week) with his family, and jaehyun can only frown as he remembers the amount of work he has to do for his final assignment. on top of everything, his throat was itching; a blatant symptom of his possible fever.

"i'm sure. i have your huge medicine box here. your dumb junior will take care of himself."

"at least they help you when you need them." doyoung argues, taking the said box from his side table. "i've labelled the cold medicines. don't mix them up, okay?"

"yup," jaehyun hums. "take care, hyung."

"you too, hyunnie."

jaehyun wonders why he feels so down, when doyoung is only going away for a week.

doyoung looks hesitant, like he wants to say something. jaehyun feels it waiting at the tip of his tongue, but never spilling out. it's stifling, the hesitation that surrounds him, reminding him constantly of his own fuck-up.

he wonders if taeyong is doing well. he wonders if the calls and messages would stop. he wonders if taeyong would soon realize how messed up he is, and would just leave for good. that will probably be better for taeyong and for himself.

"just… don't go doing stupid things, jaehyun. and don't drink too much." doyoung says, hands firmly clutching the suitcase handle. "i know i don't say anything, but i'm not here for the week and you… just take care, okay?"

jaehyun wants to promise him that he'll do just fine, that he'll control his drinking for the time being. but he cannot, and he has no reason for it. he nods wordlessly instead, hoping it's enough.

# **#** #

jaehyun spends the weekend alone with movies on his laptop and shitty beer, though he should not be drinking _ anything _ for his rising fever.

the week is going to start out in the worst way possible; he could feel his eyes burn with the feverish heat by the end of sunday. he remembers the project idea he has to give his professor, and groans in frustration. screw school, really.

(and doyoung's medicine box completely escapes his mind, but blame the fever.)

he wakes up and attends classes, but it's all a meddled blur in his mind. he coughs too much, his nose is blocked, and he's delirious for a lack of words. it burns, burns, just _ burns _ all over.

"dude, are you fine?" minghao asks after their classes end. _ it's a tuesday _, jaehyun thinks as he stares at his phone.

to be honest, jaehyun doesn't know either. he feels the sweat running down his temples, all the way down to his neck. there is also a feeling gnawing at him from deep within.

"yeah," he lies, smiling as he adjusts his bag over his shoulders.

he sees taeyong standing right across the corridor, and freezes. "see you later, okay?" he says to minghao hurriedly.

minghao shrugs in response, giving a tight pat over his shoulder. "you should really rest, you look tired."

jaehyun smiles out of courtesy, ignores the way his head is beginning to pound with pain. and the way he feels everything and nothing, looking at taeyong approach him.

he makes his way towards the cafeteria, stomach begging for proper food after the haphazard sandwich he had shoved into his system that morning. this is why he needs doyoung, really. at least he would take care of him out of his sheer humanity, since jaehyun has lost any and all sense of care.

the sunlight blinds his eyes, and he struggles to find his way to the cafeteria after a few staggering steps. _ screw this _, he thinks as he changes direction, going to the dormitory building instead.

"jae?" he hears taeyong call, and turns around instinctively.

he pretends to not see the same frown of confusion across taeyong's forehead, or the way he is biting his lips in worry. 

(maybe a kiss would make it go away, he wonders.)

"you don't look so good."

jaehyun can barely hold himself upright, but he nods in reply. did he hear him correctly? he doesn't know.

taeyong fiddles with the strap of his sling bag. jaehyun just wants to tell him that he's fine. that he's sorry for being stupid. that he won't have to deal with him anymore.

"do you wanna go to the infirmary? just in case?"

it's only overwhelming heat that spreads all across his body when he shakes his head repeatedly, hoping he can just get back to his bed. he feels sweat building over his forehead, trickling down to his neck. a cough racks through his body.

"jae? jaehyun! jae-"

he doesn't hear the rest.

# **#** #

jaehyun wakes up blearily with all sense of time lost in a mess. he registers his phone ringing. he turns around, feeling heavy all over. maybe a hammer has permanently taken place in his head, hitting against all corners, he doesn't know.

the phone stops ringing, but the screen remains lit when he finally manages to look over. 

_ wednesday, 12:03PM _.

wait, what? wasn't it tuesday?

_ three missed call(s) from _ ** _doyoung hyung_ **

_ it's doyoung _, he thinks as he continues to stare at the phone. why does his hands feel so weak?

how did he skip a whole day?

"jaehyun?"

even in his confused state, he freezes at the voice.

"taeyong?"

and then he sees him. dishevelled hair, eyes filled with tiredness that runs down till his cheeks, worry written in bold letters all over his face.

"why are you here?" is the thing he manages to ask.

_ well done, jung jaehyun. _

"you don't remember?" taeyong asks, just as jaehyun manages to sit upright. why does he feel heavy all over again? he shakes his head despite the dull throbbing or the painful way his muscles seem to regain senses.

"you were sick. high fever. for three days, apparently." taeyong says— more like deadpans, but anyway. "you fainted yesterday."

that, jaehyun did not expect.

"oh…" he trails off, racking his memory and trying to remember. he remembers saturday, and maybe bits of sunday, but the rest is a blur. "oh."

that is when he looks around, really. it isn't his room. it isn't his bed that he's on, but a hospital. the room if stifling with the smell of sterilizer. there's a needle on the back of his hand, all of which makes him calculate the prices in his head.

_ i should've just taken the damn medicines _, he thinks off-handedly.

"yeah," taeyong sighs. "it was scary, actually. the doctor told you had dehydration too, and that you drank a shit amount of beer."

jaehyun almost chokes on that fact, because he knows exactly why he did it.

"who drinks when they have a fever? are you stupid?" taeyong's voice builds up, layers of anger covering the evident worry. it feels much better this way, feeding his guilt.

"i… i'm sorry."

"sorry doesn't cut it, jaehyun. do you know how scared i was when i just… just _ saw _ you collapse in front of my eyes? what if i didn't see you? what if you didn't come to classes and your fever just worsened? what if—" taeyong pauses himself. jaehyun finds himself fiddling with his hands, too ashamed to look anywhere. he knows he's done stupid things. "why… what did i do?"

that makes jaehyun look up from his lap. what possible answer can he give, really?

"why did you avoid me so badly for a week? just… what did i do?"

jaehyun doesn't find any answer except for one: that it's _ him _, not taeyong. but that's the most cliché answer one could give, and that's a flimsy excuse than an actual answer.

looking at jaehyun dwelling in the silence around them, taeyong sighs. "fine, whatever. let's just go home now."

jaehyun stays quiet for almost all of the ride. there's an exhaustion that's still sticking to his body, and he almost drifts off to sleep by the time they reach the dormitories. taeyong insists to come along till jaehyun's room, which jaehyun denies, or at least tries to.

"you should go back," jaehyun coughs out. "it's getting late, they'll close the doors by 10."

"it's only _ six _, and i think i can take care of that." taeyong shoots back, clearing jaehyun's bed. "just go to sleep or something."

"and you?" jaehyun asks.

"and what about me? i'll just wait till it's time for you to take your medicines, because you _ clearly _ cannot do it yourself."

every word is a jab at jaehyun's entire being, and he hates himself for feeling bad. he's glad that someone is there around him, but he also feels bad that he cannot take care of himself. how hard could it be, really?

"i'll tell my friend at the dorm to remind me. you should really go." he says, feeling a shiver run down his skin. "you can't go out after they close the doors. and you should have permission—"

"i said i'll take care, jaehyun." taeyong says firmly, and that shuts jaehyun up for the moment. "get some rest."

jaehyun wants to ask what taeyong will do, but worries whether taeyong will finally explode on him. he doesn't have the energy for an argument, not with taeyong at least.

and so jaehyun slips into his bed, exhaustion kicking in again and taking him into a dreamless sleep. taeyong stays in a little corner in his mind, even through his unconscious state.

# **#** #

taeyong stays. and that's a huge problem for jaehyun.

ignoring the fact that he has feelings he doesn't want to acknowledge, it's more because taeyong is still so selfless, even after jaehyun had pulled the Shittiest Move of the Year, trademark and all. 

all of the thirty six messages are still unread, thirteen missed calls still untouched. still, taeyong takes care of jaehyun, as if he's supposed to do it. jaehyun hates it; hates himself for it.

it's been twelve hours since taeyong had camped at jaehyun's dorm room, and it's nothing but absolute torture for jaehyun's poor, inexperienced heart.

he has to physically will himself to not have a heart attack (though his logic argues that _ it's impossible _ ) when taeyong brings him soup that he magically conjured from _ somewhere _ . jaehyun takes it without any complaint in his half-well state. taeyong periodically checks his temperature, calls the infirmary doctor (who, for some reason, speaks with taeyong _ very _ casually) and asks for any and every symptom. jaehyun had puked one last time, and taeyong— _ kind _ and _ considerate _ taeyong had held him steady throughout, and cleaned up afterwards. 

as if jaehyun was not drowning in guilt already; now he's unable to breathe. as if the feelings inside his heart weren't growing already; they're _ multiplying _ now. multiplying at a rate where he thinks he might actually have a heart attack. he feels the poor thing pounding against his chest, rapidly, incessantly, just _ waiting _ to escape in the form of endless kisses all over taeyong's skin.

"hyung, just…" jaehyun manages to say through his thick and croaky voice. if he doesn't do it now, he's doomed for_ ever _. "go home."

taeyong frowns. "why?"

"just _ go _." it comes out harsher than intended. "i can take care of myself."

taeyong looks at him for one long minute, eyes flitting in confusion. the same confusion jaehyun feels bubbling all over him.

"tell me why," taeyong speaks up after what feels like a decade, sitting at the foot of the bed, meters away from jaehyun. "and i'll leave."

jaehyun gulps. he knows exactly what taeyong is underlining here. the entire room is filled with the awkward bubble that hangs above them.

now _ what _ exactly will he tell as an answer? _ i like you but i'm afraid of liking you _ or _ i like you but i'm afraid of liking at all _, or some measly, made up excuse like…

zero. he has zero excuses to make up. and taeyong will see right through his lies of studying, even though he _ had _ been doing that— it was one of the ways to avoid taeyong.

"i…" he begins, feeling all air escape his lungs. what _ can _ he tell? everything and anything coming up in his mind seems absurd and straight up idiotic. the vaguely known truth is not pleasant either. "i don't know." he settles with the most truthful answer instead.

taeyong looks at him incredulously. _ of course _, of course he should. no one can be as fucking stupid as jung jaehyun is.

"i don't know… i don't want to see you."

_ for your good. for my own good _.

taeyong freezes in place, silent as the words get processed in his mind. "w… what?"

"i don't want to see you anymore…" jaehyun dares to look at taeyong's face, his _ eyes _— "because i'm afraid of what i'll do."

taeyong visible relaxes, but the tension still rests in between his forehead. "what will you do?"

jaehyun pauses breathing. the heat that was spread all over his body has rushed to his entire face, reddening it completely. jaehyun closes the distance between them, hands going to cup taeyong's face.

"this."

and he kisses. no hesitation, no warning; he just goes in. he feels his heart soar at every breath he takes, every moment escalating to an inexplicable sense of pure joy. this is exactly what he was afraid of, but the fear dissipates after a while.

when jaehyun pulls away, he's breathless. it's _ gross _ and unhygienic, he still has bad breath and a shit ton of bitterness from the fever, taeyong probably hates it, he knows. but if he had not done it, _ god knows _ what could have happened to him. a cough threatens to come out, but he suppresses it.

taeyong's eyes are still closed, lips still inviting for another kiss. jaehyun wills himself to not crash against it, and lets taeyong talk.

"i… what was that?" taeyong asks blankly.

jaehyun lets a low chuckle escape his throat along with a cough. "i… still don't know how to go about this, but _ fuck it _ , right?" taeyong chuckles at that. jaehyun takes it as a cue to continue. "i like you. i… have feelings for you, but you— i— no, _ we _ weren't in a position _ or _ a good… no, proper relationship to talk about it. i— we only know each other for two months!"

"and?"

"and… i was afraid. i-i don't know the first thing about a relationship, i'm stupid, i don't take care of myself and i didn't _ consider _ your opinion because _ i _ was blindly afraid—"

he stops when taeyong presses a finger against his lips. "so what?" jaehyun almost gapes at that. "i don't know either. no one is an expert at a relationship, jaehyun. we all just… learn along the way. i'm scared too, so damn scared. but we can learn."

_ what? _ nothing that entered jaehyun's mind made sense. _ you can do that? _

"what-what do you mean?" he asks after a long few minutes.

taeyong laughs— actually laughs out loud. it sounds like bells chiming. "it means, i like you too, idiot."

jaehyun can barely process anything at this point, his brain bursting with all the new developments around him. is he even functioning properly anymore? is it possible for a human to be broken by overthinking?

he doesn't get enough time to ponder on tangential thoughts as feels a kiss on his lips. he feels his entire body melt into it, with taeyong keeping him upright than himself. he feels an arm snake up inside his shirt. he hurriedly pulls the shirt away. the sudden exposure makes his whole body shiver with a still burning fever. he falls back on the bed as taeyong sits on top of him, leaning down.

he's breathless, but has no intention of stopping. in the end, it's taeyong who pulls away, breathing heavily against jaehyun's ear.

"i like you," jaehyun says, boldly this time. taeyong's chuckles reverberate in his ears, so does the chaste kiss he leaves there. "so much."

taeyong nods, kisses him yet again. an answer, promise, an assurance. that is all jaehyun needs. his fears are pushed back into the deep corners, not gone but not there either. it doesn't matter that he's scared of having a relationship, doesn't matter that he's scared of himself. what matters is that he has taeyong, beside him, with him, to explore this together.

and that, for him, is enough.

# **# **#

"so," doyoung says with hands on hips, staring down at jaehyun. "things happened."

jaehyun grins widely, a cough still threatening to escape his throat. who knew a fever could last this long?

"and you and taeyong are together." a nod, a red face. "_ and _ you fainted because you didn't take care of yourself."

"i'm fine now, though," jaehyun frowns. he squirms under doyoung's discontent glare. "okay, _ fine _, i didn't take care of myself. i'm sorry."

"i'm trying to decide whether me leaving was good or bad." doyoung says, sitting on the couch.

"_ bad _. it was bad. i need you."

"what, to be your maid?"

jaehyun grins sheepishly.

"i knew it. you lazy heathen."

"_ hey _," taeyong comes out from jaehyun's room. "don't call my boyfriend a heathen."

"_ god _, i don't like him already. you found the perfect match."

"but you just said you don't like him." jaehyun asks, face blank in confusion.

"i don't like him, but i do trust him. doyoung ruffles jaehyun's hair. "and i want out from my duty of being your caretaker, i'm _ tired _."

jaehyun laughs and nods. taeyong presses a soft kiss against jaehyun's cheeks before leaving, winking at doyoung who threatens to throw a pillow at him. it all feels too good to be real, but when jaehyun pinches himself, he knows it is.

taeyong is his pain and his medicine, and jaehyun would choose him any time over anything.

**Author's Note:**

> so i hope i did well! i write more feelings than actual smut and i know thats like contradicting for the plotline itself, but i hope you liked it!


End file.
